


Naïve

by sweetlolixo



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Implied Manipulation, Incest, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 13:02:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8534128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetlolixo/pseuds/sweetlolixo
Summary: AU in which Yuu is naïve, and incredibly so. Kouyou tells him kissing is normal between brothers, something two people who love each other very, very much do, and Yuu doesn't question it, not even when it escalates into something much further. Eventually Yuu finds out the truth.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Fic originally posted onto LiveJournal [here](http://sweetlolixo.livejournal.com/196538.html) on November 16, 2013.
> 
> If you're uncomfortable with incest and slight manipulation, please don't read.

Yuu might be the brightest bulb in the classroom, but in life it seemed like he was more… lacking.  
  
Gullible was the correct word. Gullible, unsuspecting, _foolish_. Incredibly easily taken in by any lie spoken to him or pretense put on to get on his good side, Yuu was the epitome of _naïve_. It was even worse when you put his older brother in the equation – Kouyou was all that he had, for the bulk of his life, and the fact that Kouyou had been his only solace, shelter, comfort for at least a decade meant that Yuu was inclined to think of Kouyou as akin to _god_. Their parents having passed on early in life due to an unfortunate car accident, meant that Kouyou, as the older brother, had to take care of Yuu at an early age, when Yuu was only ten and Kouyou, eighteen. He was at a legal age to take Yuu under his custody and be independent enough to financially support himself; sure, there were funds from their parents’ side of the family, but they were from long-lost relatives and they barely knew each other. The funds lasted them for quite awhile, thankfully, and there wasn’t so much of a burden on Kouyou as he had feared he would have. He sold their old house – a private property – in exchange for a smaller, humbler sized apartment in the city, and Yuu being ten at the time saw no problem with these dealings; Kouyou was in the right to make every decision, and Yuu spent most of that year mourning over the loss of their parents, anyway.   
  
He could barely remember what had happened around that time, now, most of it having passed in a blur, but it was only after he grew up to be a teenager himself that he realized how much Kouyou had to concern himself with at only the tender age of eighteen at that time. Kouyou wasn’t even a full adult then yet, and he had to set aside his own mourning to attend to more pressing affairs, like the need to settle Yuu and Kouyou down into a new life as quickly as possible, and the need to make arrangements for the funeral, the legal matters, the change of Yuu’s schools, the last minute decision of Kouyou’s to quit college and decide to get a job instead…  
  
Yuu hadn’t realized Kouyou had suffered so much. In fact, it seemed like Kouyou hadn’t even the chance to _properly_ grief. Kouyou had been so busy that year, and many a time Yuu came back from school to find his stressing older brother pouring his head over stacks and bundles of paper from the lawyers, trying to frantically clear them all and get them done as soon as possible. And even then, when they were done, the papers were replaced with _newspapers_ to aid in Kouyou’s job seeking. On top of that, dinner was always ready, and Yuu never lived through a day where he had anything short of three meals. Kouyou made sure he attended to every of Yuu’s needs and made him comfortable in any way possible – Yuu had thought it to be natural and saw little difference in his life before and after his parents’ absence, though the more grown up Yuu realized that it must have taken Kouyou an extreme effort to make it all right again.  
  
Yuu only realized a long while after that Kouyou perhaps had never gotten over his parents’ death. There was simply no time for him to grieve over their parents’ passing, when Kouyou had to make sure Yuu didn’t grieve too harshly himself. Yuu was lucky enough to have a close relationship with his brother; even before their parents’ absence, Kouyou had always doted on Yuu, and they shared beds, despite Yuu having clearly outgrown such a privilege. Their parents never minded, though, and the two brothers often spent many nights whispering into each other’s ears in the silence, teasing and laughing over many frivolous things into the night. Yuu always felt warmer in Kouyou’s arms, and Kouyou in his. Their parents had a daily routine of dropping Yuu and Kouyou off at their respective schools every morning, and Kouyou continued this practice even without them. He was grateful he’d taken his driving license early then, and kept their parents’ car for this sole purpose. He didn’t want to deny Yuu of any of these privileges just because their parents were gone; he did his best to make sure Yuu didn’t have to suffer much, and Yuu was always so grateful to his brother for it.  
  
It was natural then that even after they moved into their new apartment, Yuu had taken a liking to sharing a bed with Kouyou. Neither of them objected to such an arrangement, and it was easier, anyway, when Yuu spent most nights sobbing furiously about their parents’ death. Kouyou would coo him to sleep and soothe him with that gentle, lulling voice of his, then he would wrap his arms around Yuu’s lanky frame and rock him to sleep, until the tears were dried and Yuu gave in to the comfort of his arms. Kouyou was his remedy for sleeping that year, and he always kicked up a fuss when Kouyou got home late. He was spoilt by Kouyou’s advances, sure, but Kouyou loved spoiling him. And it worked out for the best for them.  
  
Kouyou never asked for anything in return, and though the only form of presents Yuu managed to give him were handmade cards and small little trinkets he could conjure up with his bare hands, Kouyou’s eyes always gleamed upon looking at them and he often adorned them around the house, treating them as if they were to be valued like gold. On the other hand, Kouyou often came home with gifts for Yuu, and Yuu knew a lot of them came from Kouyou’s own pay himself. The guilt lessened in the later years when Kouyou finally got a better job and was promoted to a more reputable, stable position in his office, but in the first few years when Kouyou had to make do with odd jobs like waitressing and delivering food, Yuu knew Kouyou spent most of that meager salary on spoiling Yuu, anyway. Still, it was a habit that Kouyou couldn’t shake rid of, and despite Yuu’s many protests, he never stopped. Yuu slowly came to love that part of his older brother that was adamant on spoiling him rotten, on top of the many other things he already loved his brother for.  
  
Kouyou, simply put, was his savior. He was the person in his life that made things right when all things could have gone wrong, and without him Yuu wouldn’t know what would have happened to him. It was a horrible thought, imagining a life without Kouyou – Yuu wouldn’t have known what to do with himself, and he frequently imagined himself on the streets, begging for food and money, or meeting into some bad company and losing himself to drugs. Kouyou upheld high morals and standards and he imparted those to Yuu – Yuu’s friends had to be mostly approved by Kouyou first, and even then Yuu had his own curfews. By the time Yuu was sixteen, they had already established a pattern, a routine of life, between them. Kouyou would wake up first in the mornings, washing and dressing himself before preparing them breakfast, and Yuu was grateful for the few minutes it gave him to sleep in. Once they were both done, Kouyou would drive Yuu to school first before going to work. Whilst Yuu spent the day at school, Kouyou would frequently text his younger brother, and Yuu had never found that abnormal; the two brothers were close, after all, their parents’ passing having made them even closer. Kouyou could barely stand to be away from Yuu and Yuu knew it, liked it, and loved the way Kouyou adored him.

When school ended, and if Kouyou hadn’t finished work before then, Yuu would wait until Kouyou would come, to pick him up, before driving them both back home. Yuu would take his turn to make dinner whilst Kouyou took a shower and got changed, and after they shared about their day to each other over dinner, Kouyou would do the dishes while Yuu took his own shower. Then they’d spend the rest of their time lounging on the couch, watching television, or doing homework if Yuu had any. Kouyou often spent his time staying by Yuu’s side, admiring his younger brother, and they made it a point to retire to their bed before twelve at night. Yuu often dozed off lying against Kouyou’s chest, Kouyou’s arms around his waist, and even then, the both of them _still_ didn’t question the odd arrangement they had, nor the way they acted like they were… a married couple. And maybe, perhaps, Kouyou had known it was unusual, and improper, but Kouyou hadn’t thought to change it. The both of them needed each other in a way that others would never understand, so he didn’t care what others might, or would have thought about them. Yuu never questioned it either, and Yuu seemed to be the one liking to be the receiving end on things, anyway.  
  
It was shortly a month after Yuu’s 16th birthday and the year Kouyou turned 24 that things _really_ started to change, and it started getting noticeable only then. Kouyou became more daring in his touches, and he often kissed Yuu on the forehead in the mornings when he woke up, or kissed Yuu goodbye on the cheek when they had to part. Kouyou began lavishing Yuu with gifts even more now, and most of them didn’t come cheap – necklaces, rings, bracelets were all frequent, and Yuu had to swallow his qualms about the prices of them down when he received them from Kouyou. They were crystal and diamond studded and he didn’t want to think of how expensive they really were, so after the first few attempts at trying to get Kouyou to spill their cost (at which Kouyou reluctantly admitted they were of a four number figure); Yuu stopped asking, knowing he wouldn’t be able to stop Kouyou from buying anyway, and if he didn’t dwell so much on the prices, it would help lessen the guilt in him a little.  
  
And maybe that was why when Kouyou’s hands started drifting from just merely hugging his waist to slightly down his hips, Yuu never questioned it. Then again, he _never_ questioned Kouyou – Kouyou was his savior, his older brother, and he trusted Kouyou in whatever he did. Yuu was naïve, in a way that he hadn’t learnt about love and relationships even when he grew out of adolescence and started growing hips of his own, and his looks started settling down into more feminine features, something Yuu had noticed briefly but never concentrated on. There were love and relationship talks at school, sure, but the teachers always seemed nervous, and they never really got beyond the whole kissing thing. That’s why, when one day Kouyou seated Yuu onto his lap, and gently brushed his lips against Yuu’s neck, Yuu jolted up, surprised, but didn’t find anything wrong with it, didn’t find it in him to pull away from Kouyou just yet.  
  
It was a sign of affection, Yuu thought to himself. Even as Kouyou started texting more “I love you”s during schooltime and made Yuu reply the same way back, Yuu didn’t think anything to be wrong. Kouyou loved him dearly, as a brother, and Yuu never doubted any inch of it. Soft kisses against his neck expanded to butterfly trails down the line of his collar bone, and day after day, Yuu found himself in Kouyou’s grasp more often than he realized, Kouyou’s lips pressed against his skin more frequently than they spoke (and when he spoke, it was all terms of endearment and affection for Yuu. Yuu should have realized something then, but he hadn’t).  
  
It came to the point where Kouyou’s lips eventually reached his mouth, and that was when Yuu finally drew away after a slow, lingering kiss on his lips, confusion flooding his face, his heart beating at the thought of Kouyou being so intimate with him.  
  
“I don’t understand,” Yuu had admitted, then, doe-eyed, staring right into his brother’s eyes, which Yuu should have realized were already filled with a mixture of love and lust. Kouyou’s hands tightened around Yuu’s waist, and as Yuu shifted himself uncomfortably in Kouyou’s lap, he should have realized the way he straddled his older brother made Kouyou breathless a little.  
  
“What don’t you understand?” Kouyou’s face was perfectly calm, and his mouth was in a smile, as if amused, but his breathing was evidently uneven. Yuu could still feel Kouyou’s touches lingering upon his skin, his lips kissing every inch of his neck, and Yuu wondered what it meant, what Kouyou’s recent gestures of love meant, what prompted Kouyou to suddenly do this to him.  
  
“You’ve been… kissing me,” Yuu pointed out, earning himself laughter from his older brother. He felt absolutely foolish then – was he not understanding _something_? Why was his brother laughing at him as if Yuu was missing out on something? Did Yuu somehow skip a note or two in the ‘how to be a good brother’ handbook and didn’t understand the way his brother was touching him so… _intimately_ , recently? The only kisses he’d ever seen shared were between his parents, and even then, they were never as intimate as the way Kouyou kissed his skin. It felt like Kouyou loved _loved_ him, and though it should have made Yuu happy in knowing that fact, it made Yuu feel… confused. Frightened. Helpless, in fact. Yuu didn’t know why Kouyou’s actions made him so queasy, but he needed an answer from his brother to clear things up before he let his emotions get the better of him.  
  
“Yes, I have been, Yuu.” Kouyou replied, a hand reaching up to run through Yuu’s hair. Yuu instinctively leaned in, allowing his brother to play with his raven locks, just like Kouyou always did when he was bored. Yuu was too used to Kouyou’s advances. “Are you uncomfortable with it, love?”  
  
Yuu’s eyes widened immediately. “No! _Never_ , I just…” He’d rather _die_ than let Kouyou think Yuu was ever uncomfortable with him. Kouyou had done so much for Yuu, the least Yuu could do was allow Kouyou the comfort he wanted from him. It still struck him as odd, though, because Kouyou had only recently started kissing him like _this_ in all sixteen years of his life, and Yuu wasn’t so sure why Kouyou hadn’t done it earlier if it was… a normal gesture, in itself.  
  
“I don’t know… I don’t know how kisses work,” Yuu admitted, and Kouyou’s smile just widened even further. His fingers slipped down his hair to brush against the side of Yuu’s cheek, and Yuu winced a little at that, feeling like a child under Kouyou’s touch. Kouyou just laughed. “It’s just… I don’t know if you mean anything by it. I’ve only ever seen mother and father do it, and… I don’t know… Is it normal, onii-san?”  
  
“ _Oh_ , you’re too cute.” Kouyou gushed, still smiling, and he hugged Yuu to himself, laughing in his response. “You don’t know what a kiss means, Yuu? You’re sixteen, aren’t you?” He was teasing, and Yuu was embarrassed by it. His cheeks reddened of their own accord and soon Kouyou was back to staring at him with those eyes, _those_ eyes, those eyes that made Yuu feel like he was the only one who mattered in this world. “Do you think you have a clue as to what it means?”  
  
Yuu thought he _knew_ a little, but he didn’t want to say it for fear of sounding silly. Besides, if his assumptions were correct, then it shouldn’t be for brothers… right? And Kouyou wouldn’t be doing this to him.  
  
“I don’t know,” Yuu bit his lip, looking away, and it only prompted another laugh from Kouyou. “Onii-san, I’m confused… Do you – ”  
  
“Do you love me, Yuu?” Kouyou’s voice strained to sound more serious, this time, and Yuu immediately raised his head up, shaking it vigorously.  
  
“Yes! I do!”  
  
Kouyou’s face relaxed into his usual smile. “I love you too, Yuu. You’re my everything in this world.” His hands were playing with Yuu’s hair once more. “You know I never ask for much, don’t you?”  
  
“You never ask for anything,” Yuu replied softly, and Kouyou only grinned at that. Yuu felt helpless under Kouyou’s stares, wondering what Kouyou was leading up to. “But… this still doesn’t – ”  
  
“A kiss,” Kouyou started, and Yuu instantly fell silent. “Is shared between two people who love each other. More than anything in the world. Do you understand?”  
  
“I do,” Yuu hurried to answer, nodding his head. When Kouyou didn’t continue further, Yuu fell into bewilderment again. “That’s it?”  
  
“What else?” Kouyou laughed. “Can’t I kiss you, Yuu? Do you not like it?”  
  
“I do,” Yuu said, though his voice was softer this time, and Kouyou felt the reluctance wavering in the still air; it made him frown.  
  
“I see. You don’t like it, then.”  
  
“I do!” Yuu was too eager to respond, his face glancing worriedly to Kouyou’s. He never wanted to make his older brother upset over him; not after how much Kouyou’s done for him. “I do, I really do. Onii-san, I like it as long as you do. Do you like… kissing me?”  
  
“More than anything in the world,” Kouyou’s voice settled down from before, sounding more gentle like usual. “I kiss you… because I love you. And it’s alright, okay, Yuu? It makes me so happy, holding you like this – ” Kouyou’s fingers made their way to Yuu’s jawline and tilted his head up to gaze back into Kouyou’s eyes, making Yuu shiver. “You make me so happy, and I just… I want to show it to you. I want to tell you how much I love you. And sometimes words aren’t enough, and I want to show it in the form of… _this_ , do you get it?”  
  
Kouyou’s words were starting to make more sense to Yuu.  
  
“This really makes you happy, onii-san?”  
  
“Yes, of course.” Kouyou’s gaze was loving. “I love being with you. I get really upset when you deny me, Yuu. I don’t want you to have any doubts about this, because I’m only doing this because I want to show my love for you, and yet you don’t seem to like it…” Kouyou’s face fell as if he were to be hurt, and Yuu’s heart twisted immediately. Yuu couldn’t ever make his older brother upset!  
  
“I love it! I love it when you kiss me,” Yuu leaned in closer to Kouyou, voice desperately trying to convince Kouyou of his thoughts. “It’s… I… I love you, onii-san. I was just confused earlier on, because I’ve never… I’ve never experienced kissing before, but, but if this really makes you happy…” Yuu’s face brightened up. “It makes me happy too! If it’s something to be shared between two people that love each other very much, then… then I’m so glad to do it with onii-san! I love you, onii-san! I’ll let you do anything to me!”  
  
 _Oh_ , how beautiful those words sounded to Kouyou’s ears.  
  
“You’re perfect, Yuu,” Kouyou’s hands were hastening up to the back of Yuu’s head, pulling him in for a much needed kiss. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”  
  
The moment their lips fell against each other, Yuu never questioned anything anymore. It felt right, with Kouyou’s hands around him, and his lips kissing his own softly. He felt _intimate_ , and the closeness he had with Kouyou made him shiver with nervous excitement; he’d never experienced anything like this with anyone before, and he was too happy to share it with his older brother. His older brother was the only person he ever loved and trusted so much in this world, and so even as the room grew loud with their sloppy kisses, Yuu never thought it to be wrong.  
  
He loved his brother just as much.  
  
~  
  
It wasn’t long before Yuu was mastered in the art of kissing. Kouyou kissed Yuu regularly, and that gave plenty of opportunities for Yuu to experiment with the different techniques of kissing. At first, Kouyou hadn’t used much tongue, and they kissed each other simply with their lips, teasing each other until one day the temptation gave in and both of them broke. Kouyou was more skillful, and though Yuu wondered where Kouyou had picked this up from, he didn’t question it; just allowed Kouyou’s tongue to guide him into his mouth. Their wet, slobbery kisses became heated, passionate ones, and it wasn’t uncommon to spend their evenings lying on the sofa in the living room, one body on top of another, hands wildly tangling up in each other’s hair as they kissed deeply into the night. It soon became Yuu’s favorite past time; what with the abundance of emotions that surged up within him each time Kouyou held him tightly in his arms, or the way Kouyou’s saliva flowed into his with each flick and curl his tongue gave to his own one. They shared more than just a bed, now; they spent many nights huddling together and sharing intimate moments, and even then – it didn’t feel like it was enough. Yuu felt his heart flutter each time he came into sight with Kouyou, and the times Yuu’s mouth wasn’t against his (Yuu had schoolwork to do, after all) Kouyou would put his mouth against Yuu’s skin, instead, savouring him slowly in his own time as Yuu tried to work on his own projects (most of them were useless attempts, Yuu had to say).  
  
Many of their nights were spent with Kouyou teasing Yuu deep into the night, spelling out the many things he wanted to do to Yuu, sending Yuu into fits of giggles that Kouyou seemed to be so delighted to hear each time. Yuu could feel something changing in their relationship, and he wasn’t sure if it was for the good or the bad. All he knew was that he _liked_ it, liked the way each touch Kouyou bestowed upon him made him feel, liked the way each time Kouyou tried something new with him, Kouyou would assure him that it was right, it was okay, it was something two people who loved each other very much did. Yuu wasn’t knowledgeable in matters of love and relationships, and Kouyou to him was like a teacher, teaching him in ways Yuu would otherwise had never known. Yuu had never felt more indebted to Kouyou in his life; Kouyou had so painstakingly taken care of Yuu even from a young age, and even now, Yuu still felt like a child under Kouyou’s care, despite having grown up many years from then on. Kouyou was now an adult, and Yuu knew he depended on Kouyou for most things – him to pay the bills, to drive the car and pay for gas, to working and even settling their three meals each day just so Yuu could lead a comfortable life… Kouyou to him was like his pillar, and Yuu never thought so far to imagine a life without his older brother.  
  
When teenagers his age were starting to sneak into clubs and get high on drugs of underage drinking, Yuu stayed faithful to Kouyou’s curfews, and had dinner with Kouyou everyday. Perhaps it was Kouyou’s controlling demeanor that prevented Yuu from knowing too much about the outside world and the way things worked – and perhaps if Yuu had been rebellious and ventured out to explore what love and relationships meant outside, Yuu would have long realized it wasn’t normal to be kissing your own brother, even in the confines of your own house. But Yuu never felt the need to make his brother unhappy; Kouyou was all he needed, and vice versa. He didn’t like the thought of going out to party when he could come home and spend quality time with his brother, and it pained Yuu to think of leaving Kouyou all alone at home to go clubbing with his friends, so he often rejected his friends’ offers, and decided to accompany Kouyou at home, instead.  
  
It only took three months before the next change happened. Yuu had just finished showering before climbing into bed that night, hair still slightly wet and messy from his bath, and Kouyou had been reading a book, sitting up in his side of the bed. Yuu had looked adoringly to his brother; he knew how much Kouyou liked studying, and Kouyou himself had done well in school before deciding to quit it in place of getting a job, just to ensure that Yuu would have a comfortable life. Yuu always did his best in school then, just to make sure Kouyou’s efforts didn’t go to waste. He would get the degree Kouyou always wanted to get and he wouldn’t let his older brother down. Still, Yuu often imagined how far Kouyou would have gone if he had continued with his studies. Kouyou had always dreamed of becoming a doctor or a lawyer, or something by the likes of it, something their parents had always expected Kouyou to be. Yet he had thrown it all away just for Yuu… His heart wrenched in guilt before he gently nudged Kouyou away from his book, crawling up into his lap once more. Kouyou just chuckled, allowing Yuu to snuggle up into him. Yuu was as hungry for Kouyou’s affections as an overly attached pet would be.  
  
“What book are you reading?” Yuu asked. His hair was still damp, but Kouyou didn’t seem to mind it, and began playing with his hair.  
  
“A recount about the Spanish War,” Kouyou answered, placing the book down onto the table by the bedside. He moved his concentration solely to Yuu. “You don’t have any homework for tomorrow?”  
  
“No,” Yuu murmured gleefully, and Kouyou laughed at his enthusiasm. “Onii-san, have you thought about studying again?”  
  
“Hmm? No.” Kouyou was startled by the sudden question, but he didn’t give much thought to it. “Why ask?”  
  
“You always liked studying,” Yuu raised his head up, looking to him questioningly. “It would be a waste if you just stopped.”  
  
“Sweetheart, I stopped six years ago.” Kouyou smiled, hoisting Yuu up by the waist to look closer to him. “I think I’m well past the studying stage.”  
  
“You’re only twenty four,” Yuu pointed out, but Kouyou just shook his head.  
  
“Then who is going to pay the bills, silly? Besides, I haven’t written an essay in years. I doubt I’d be qualified for university, anyway.”  
  
Yuu fell silent at his words, then smiled sadly to his older brother. “It’s because of me, isn’t it?”  
  
“What’s because of you, sweetie?” Kouyou’s mouth moved quizzically.  
  
“You had to stop your education because of me.” Yuu’s disdain was awfully painful to look at. Kouyou’s heart crushed instantly.  
  
“No, it isn’t. I’m happy to be working now.”  
  
“Liar,” Yuu chided, because he knows Kouyou’s lying to him, but Kouyou just circled his arms around Yuu’s back and held him protectively to him.  
  
“I’m more than happy to be in the place I am now, Yuu. I don’t think things would have worked out more perfectly than if I had gone on to university and studied whatever I would have studied there.”  
  
“You mean if our parents weren’t dead?”  
  
Kouyou hesitated to answer. “Yes.”  
  
Yuu stilled for a moment. “Do you think things would have worked out much differently if our parents were alive?”  
  
Kouyou didn’t pause this time. “Yes. And I wouldn’t have…” He didn’t answer, afterwards, and it puzzled Yuu even more.  
  
“Have what?”  
  
“I wouldn’t have… you,” Kouyou admitted, unwillingly, and it only worsened Yuu’s confusion.  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Let’s not talk about it.” Kouyou dropped the subject matter as quickly as it came. Yuu was perturbed, but he didn’t want to press on it if Kouyou was uncomfortable with it. Sensing Kouyou’s discomfort, Yuu quickly bent over and pressed a kiss to Kouyou’s lips, cheering his older brother up immediately. Kouyou always liked it when Yuu initiated kisses; because it meant Yuu equally enjoyed these intimate moments as well, and it made Kouyou feel safe, feel relieved, feel like he wouldn’t lose Yuu _that_ easily than if Yuu had been on the reluctant end of their relationship.  
  
Kouyou was too happy to delve into the kiss further, and soon his mouth and tongue were dominating Yuu’s, moving hurriedly against Yuu’s own. Yuu couldn’t help but let slip a few moans in response, sounds he’d come to find natural to himself and his body, and the way Kouyou looked even more excited and spurred on by those sounds just made Yuu even more willing to spill those delicious noises one after another, watching as Kouyou’s body tensed and twitched against him, hands roaming up the front of Yuu’s chest and pinching at every inch of his skin.  
  
When Kouyou’s mouth began to travel down Yuu’s neck, Yuu threw his head back and made soft noises, feeling Kouyou’s hands push up desperately the hems of Yuu’s shirt. Yuu knew his older brother was doing something else again, something entirely different from what he was used to, and it mildly flustered him.  
  
“What – ” Yuu’s head perked up, wanting to question, wanting to ask, but Kouyou just shushed him, gesturing for him to just stay quiet and enjoy. Yuu complied; Kouyou lowered his head and pressed his lips against the top of Yuu’s navel, kissing up his chest, and the moment he reached Yuu’s nipples and took one into his mouth, Yuu felt a twitch in between his thighs, sending him shivering immediately. He had never experienced this before, and the feeling felt foreign and strange to him, but weirdly relaxing and… _pleasurable_. Kouyou was licking and moaning around his pink nipples, and the way he sucked at them loudly made Yuu feel like a girl, reduced to a quivering mess underneath his touch.  
  
“Is… Is this what two people who love each other very much do, too?” Yuu asked, breathless in the way he spoke, and Kouyou nodded briefly, effectively silencing Yuu’s fears and calming him down from the foreign pleasure. His nipples were growing hard and erect in the cold air and under Kouyou’s moist tongue, and Yuu thought that Kouyou must _surely_ have done this before, because he knows so clearly what to do and –  
  
– and Kouyou was tugging the waistband of his pants down, eager to get it off him, sending Yuu into panic instantly. It wasn’t like Kouyou had never seen him naked before, but the last time Kouyou had washed him was… six years ago. Ever since they’d moved into this new apartment, Kouyou had respected Yuu’s space and left him alone in the shower, and Yuu’s grown _a lot_ since then.  
  
Kouyou seemed to marvel at the way Yuu’s hips had grown, licking his lips as he saw how it curved round down his naked ass, and as the pants reached to the middle of his thighs, Yuu bit his lip and quickly stopped Kouyou in his act.  
  
“I don’t- I don’t understand why- ”  
  
“I want to show you how much I love you,” Kouyou cooed, and that sealed the deal. Yuu relented, allowing Kouyou’s hands to dip down the back of his ass, cupping his cheeks into his hand, squeezing them tightly in his hold. Yuu moaned, the cold air hitting his shivering skin, and the way Kouyou’s hands felt so warm against his body made him… twitch once more. Yuu gasped, allowing Kouyou to fondle with his buttocks further, and it was only when Kouyou pressed Yuu deeper against his body that he realized Kouyou’s crotch was already hard, and digging painfully obviously against Yuu’s knees. Yuu suddenly felt so fragile, so inexperienced, so defenseless in his hold, and everything felt so different and unfamiliar to him that it was starting to scare him a little. He buried his head into Kouyou’s chest, because it’s the action he’s most used to doing when he’s frightened, and Kouyou seems to realize this, gently prying his hands off and looking worriedly over to Yuu. His lust had gotten the better of him and he’d been too eager to take Yuu; but he realized the younger one probably had no clue what was going on.  
  
“It’s okay, honey,” Kouyou kissed the tip of Yuu’s hair softly. Yuu shuddered under that gesture.  
  
“What’s going on?” His voice was shaky and anxious, clutching Kouyou’s shirt tightly to him. Kouyou squeezed him into a hug. “Are you going to hurt me?”  
  
“No.” Kouyou assured, kissing him once more. “I’m going to make you feel good, Yuu. I’m going to do something we would never have otherwise done if things hadn’t worked out this way.”  
  
Yuu relaxed a little. “Will doing this make you happy?” He asked, hopeful.  
  
“Yes.” Kouyou tilted his head, smiling sweetly to Yuu. “I’m doing this because I love you, very very much, Yuu.”  
  
“Me too,” Yuu snuggled into his hold. “Okay, continue. I just… I just wanted to know what was going on.”  
  
“I love you,” Kouyou murmured, pressing his lips to Yuu’s cheek. Yuu blushed, then signaled for Kouyou to move along, and soon Kouyou was reaching for the drawers beside the bed, pulling out a bottle of liquid and squeezing it all over his fingers. Yuu drew in a breath; he had never looked through Kouyou’s possessions, but he didn’t think he ever saw _this_ bottle of liquid amongst them before. He wondered what it did, how it was supposed to be used, and what relation it had with him – Yuu felt the spreading of his cheeks with Kouyou’s cold, wet fingers, and it made Yuu squeak, but he allowed Kouyou to part him all the same. When Kouyou’s fingers make their way down to Yuu’s entrance, however, Yuu feels the cold touch of Kouyou pressing against his hole and he instinctively closes his legs, nervous at the thought of Kouyou touching him… _there_.  
  
“What are you doing?” Yuu asked, voice quivering.  
  
“Making you feel good.” Kouyou was oddly patient with his answers, as if he understood Yuu’s reluctance and nervousness, and Yuu was grateful to Kouyou for it.  
  
“You promise?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
It didn’t take much coaxing before Kouyou finally moved a finger up Yuu’s ass, and despite the discomfort at first, a few thrusts after that, a sense of pleasure that Yuu had never felt before passed over him. His knees went weak and Yuu fell limp against Kouyou’s body, allowing his older brother to do whatever he pleased with him, thrusting in and out his fingers one at a time until it came to a point where Kouyou had to teach Yuu to beg for _more… more…_ and Yuu begged for one and two and three fingers inside of him, stretching him like never before, hitting him in sensitive places he’d never knew existed – that would feel _so good, too._ Yuu was completely worn out by the time Kouyou found his prostate, and on the third thrust of meeting it Yuu came over himself, even without administration to his cock, something that surprised Kouyou greatly. Yuu was even more sensitive and delicate than he seemed, and Kouyou kissed him sweetly and promised to teach him more next time. Kouyou, however, still had his impending problem, and Yuu was too happy to help him resolve it, working Kouyou’s erect cock simply with his fingers. Kouyou had dreamed of this day far too long for him to resist Yuu any further; he came easily himself, just by holding Yuu’s gaze, and as his cum spluttered all over Yuu’s fingers, he made Yuu lick them off one by one. Kouyou thought that the enticing image of his younger brother, so wanting, so eager to please him, sucking his seed off his fingers so erotically, was a sight he’d never forget, a memory implanted into his mind for many days and pleasurable nights to come.  
  
~  
  
The following weeks were spent teaching Yuu about sex. Kouyou prepared Yuu night after night, making sure he’d stretched and loosened Yuu enough and taught him to get used to his fingers before finally giving him his cock, and it turned out to be worth the wait. It did pain Yuu a little, sure, but Yuu had never experienced such pleasure before, and Kouyou made sure to attend to Yuu’s needs, stroking his cock and thumbing it to make sure Yuu felt the same amount of pleasure he did. Yuu was too happy to slide onto his cock and bounce on it, despite his lack of experience; eventually, their sexual positions got wilder and wilder, and Yuu often was the one who milked him dry and made Kouyou finish warmly inside of him, first. It shamed him to have such little self control, but Kouyou had waited for far too long for this moment, and he was glad Yuu seemed to love it as much as he did.  
  
Heated, passionate kissing ended up leading to much perverted sex on most nights, and Kouyou had to refrain himself from touching Yuu too much in fear that he would lose all self control again and break Yuu, eventually. But despite Yuu’s small frame, his slim thighs and his delicious insides that seemed to get bruised and taken every other night, he still ever seemed so tight around Kouyou’s cock, something Kouyou could _definitely_ get used to. He fell further in love with Yuu, as if he wasn’t already, and memorized every inch of his skin, his body, his eyes, the way he moaned out Kouyou’s name during sex. He’d taken to calling Kouyou by his name and not just _onii-san_ anymore, something Kouyou had requested him to do, and it just turned him all the more on to see Yuu acting just like a lover, more like a wife that he would come home every night to and bask in her body and sink into her bewitching kisses and captivating eyes. He had never seen Yuu as a brother, and it pleased him to see that recent events had turned them more into lovers, more into a couple that couldn’t stand to live apart each other, for that was all Kouyou wanted. To claim Yuu as his own. To mark him as his possession.  
  
It was a miracle that Yuu hadn’t a boyfriend yet at this point of time, when he was so beautiful and so desirable with his womanly hips and inviting looks, but Kouyou was pleased with the fact that the only person Yuu seemed to love was him. Kouyou. His older brother. He didn’t know if it was just out of guilt or necessity because Kouyou had become his caretaker, but he didn’t mind it a single bit; and don’t get him wrong, Kouyou wasn’t entirely in love with Yuu for just how perfect he looked (though that was a plus point, as well). Yuu had always been the younger one, the one that needed protection and love from others, and Kouyou had always been willing to offer that to him, to keep him safe from all harm and treat him gently and preciously. Maybe it was just in him to _want_ to take care of Yuu, and the need to care for him him eventually grew sweetly into a dear form of love, one that exceeded boundaries and overstepped lines that should have been there. But Kouyou didn’t care; and he wanted to teach Yuu not to care, either. He wanted Yuu to see that despite everything else, they could still be together. He knew that one day Yuu would come to realize everything between them was wrong and corrupted and _illegal_ , and one day he would have to explain to Yuu that he knew all along and _yes, he still went ahead with it because he was so in love with Yuu_ , but his current lies of ‘we’re doing this to show we love each other’ was enough to placate Yuu for now. He just hoped that when that day came, Yuu would come to understand that Kouyou had done it all because he loved him. And maybe then, Yuu wouldn’t be _too_ mad at Kouyou – because Yuu was in love with Kouyou, too, whether he realized it or not. And Kouyou wanted nothing more for Yuu to see that, more than anything else.  
  
~  
  
Kouyou’s possessive need for Yuu soon extended into marking him _literally_ , and it became a regular thing for Yuu to adorn lovebites all over his neck, Kouyou having _mauled_ him multiple times the night before, all over his body and even down his ass. Yuu has had to wear scarfs to school, in fear of people finding out about his hickeys, but Kouyou never minded; he didn’t want Yuu to get involved with someone else, and as time passed and Yuu grew older and more beautiful, it meant someone would eventually try to whisk Yuu off his feet, court him and ask him out. He didn’t want Yuu to belong to anyone else, and the thought that his lovebites could throw these potential suitors off made him smug with pride. He wasn’t sure if Yuu knew what their relationship was, now, but he’d murmured multiple times to Yuu during lovemaking that Yuu was his, and his only, and he hoped Yuu understood what he meant, that he didn’t mean it in a brotherly form anymore, that he meant it in a way that Yuu was _his_ to be with for life, and only for him.  
  
If Yuu was confused over their relationship status, he sure didn’t indicate it. Yuu seemed delighted over their newfound intimacy, and the only things he whined about were the way he had to constantly cover up his neck at school and face curious questions from his friends all the time. Yuu spent many nights cuddling with Kouyou in bed, contentedly drifting off to sleep in his older brother’s arms. Everything seemed right to him and he thought their new intimacy was a good indication of the loyalty between them; the newfound feelings he felt whilst being in Kouyou’s presence were also what he assumed to be the way normal brothers would feel around each other, or eventually develop for each other as they grew older.  
  
When he was just about to turn seventeen, though, he came to school one day, kissing Kouyou goodbye as always, stepping out of the car, making his way to class. It was only when he settled down in his seat that he realized he had forgotten his green scarf at the back of Kouyou’s car, and it was with a sinking feeling in his stomach that he tried to cover evidence of what went on last night: hard and rough love making into the wall – Kouyou had been particularly hungry and lust-filled the day before. It had started with simple texting during school time, that eventually evolved to sexy texts, detailing what he wanted Kouyou to do to him, and what Kouyou would have to do back… When they got home, they hadn’t even had time to make dinner before Kouyou had him pinned to the wall and started ravaging his body; if anything, his brother was perfect in every area except for that one aspect on his self control. Yuu smiled crazily to himself at the thought. Kouyou was always so… _rash_.  
  
“Good morning, Yuu,” His friends greeted him, one by one, and as they all settled into their seats and started up a conversation of what happened at the club last night, it didn’t take long for them to notice the newfound marks on Yuu’s neck.  
  
“Holy shit, Yuu… You have a boyfriend?”  
  
That statement shook Yuu out of his thoughts immediately. “Mmm?”  
  
“Oh my god, those are hickeys!” Their laughter got even louder. “And here we thought that you would be so innocent and naïve! You never participated in our conversations about relationships, so we’d always _thought_ … Hmm. You got some last night, didn’t you, Yuuuuu…?”  
  
It was clear to Yuu that he didn’t understand what was going on.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Aw, come on, don’t hide it. Someone’s marked you as _theirs_. Who’s the lucky person?”  
  
“Isn’t this… _normal_?” Yuu was _baffled_. Didn’t everyone do this with their brothers or sisters, too? Why were they acting like it was the most surprising thing in the world? Was Yuu missing something? “Guys, I don’t understand… Why must I need a boyfriend to have these marks?”  
  
They seemed even more amused, now. “Wow, Yuu, a one night stand! I can’t believe it! And we all thought you were a _virgin_ …”  
  
“Don’t you do this with your brothers too?” Yuu finally snapped, asking, and it seemed to rouse nervousness among his friends.  
  
“What? You’re kidding, right? That’s _illegal._ Yuu, come on, just tell us your boyfriend already. We want to meet him.”  
  
Yuu felt at that instant that his whole world had come to a halt.  
  
~  
  
Kouyou texted him again during lunch time. _Miss yoooouuu, call me so I can hear your voice_. Yuu had ignored him, still disoriented by the recent turn of events, and excused himself from the lunch table to get to the library and read up on… his suspicions. He may be naïve, sure, but he didn’t score straight As for nothing. He just never thought he _needed_ to read up on relationship affairs, but clearly he was proved wrong, just hours earlier.  
  
He spent the next hour in the library, reading up more and more on love, kissing, and _sex_ , and he’d felt his heart chip off a little bit by bit when he realized his brother had been lying to him all these while. Two people who loved each other very much… Bull shit. Kouyou had so conveniently forgotten to add in the ‘yeah, except these two people have to _not_ be related’ into the equation. He had typed into google _two brothers having sex_ and had came face to face with a shit load of kinky porn, before eventually finding the appropriate term for it.  
  
 _Incest_.  
  
He was committing incest with his brother, and he hadn’t even known it. He was betrayed, disillusioned, and it took everything inside of him not to well up and cry. It didn’t hurt so much that Kouyou had lied to him – but was Kouyou _using_ him? Was that why Kouyou didn’t want to tell Yuu that this was illegal, _wrong_ , and bad? Was he just Kouyou’s tool for letting out all his… sexual urges and immoral acts and… whatever other ‘kinks’ he had? Was he being _used_? How could Kouyou, his older brother, the one who had cared so much for him and quit school for him and made sure Yuu led a comfortable life – how could he, his savior, his teacher, his one and only kin left, corrupt him this way and pretend to him that it was _okay_? Had Kouyou no heart? Why didn’t he think of telling Yuu the truth?  
  
Did Yuu’s feelings not matter to him, _at all_?  
  
He wiped away the little tears that fell and excused himself from the rest of the classes, going to the nurse and claiming he had a bad headache and wasn’t feeling well. He spent the rest of the school day feeling sick to the gut, and when he checked his phone for the time, he realized the past three hours he’d spent lying down had made Kouyou worried sick about him, because Yuu _never_ ignored Kouyou’s messages. Kouyou had texted him approximately fifteen more times, asking where Yuu was, and if Yuu was okay, and to reply him as soon as possible, if not Kouyou was driving down to school to make sure Yuu was okay. Yuu didn’t find it in him to reply to Kouyou anymore, but he felt obliged to stop the spam coming in to his phone.  
  
 _I’m fine_. Yuu’s only reply to him only prompted another worried message, because Yuu _never_ responded so coldly to him, _never_ not replied Kouyou with a ‘love you too  <3’ at the back of his message.  
  
Suddenly Yuu remembered the way Kouyou had told him things wouldn’t have turned out this way if their parents were still alive, and Yuu understood why in this very moment. All the tell-tale signs had been there from the start – why then, didn’t Yuu see it from the very beginning? Was Yuu _that_ stupid? All he concentrated on was wanting to make Kouyou happy. All he wanted to do was to repay his brother for all he had done for Yuu. And now Yuu can’t think of anything else but to run away from home, to go to a place where he could be with his parents again, just so they could protect him from the lying, manipulative brother he hadn’t thought he had.  
  
He didn’t want to face Kouyou again.  
  
 _Yuu, I’m so worried… Why didn’t you reply me for the past few hours? Were you kept in class? Did the teacher mistreat you? Did you get to go for lunch? Yuu?_  
  
His messages were still incoming, but Yuu had never felt more alone.  
  
~  
  
Eventually, he had to see Kouyou again. Yuu knew it.  
  
Kouyou picked Yuu up from the school’s front porch as usual, and as he got out of his car to open the car door for Yuu to get into, Yuu beat him to it, opening the door himself and slamming the door as he sat himself into his seat. Kouyou’s throat tightened.  
  
Kouyou waited for a kiss from Yuu, the usual kiss Yuu gave him when Yuu finally saw him again, after being separated for the day, but it never came. Kouyou sighed and thought it to be a small friendship problem Yuu had encountered in school, and started the drive home, trying to begin small talk with the raven.  
  
“I missed you today,” Kouyou murmured, looking longingly to Yuu on his side. Yuu was busy staring out of the window, still remaining silent. “Why didn’t you reply to my texts? Did something happen?”  
  
There wasn’t a response. Something _did_ happen, Yuu just didn’t want to speak about it to him. It was rare that Yuu ever did throw such tantrums, but Kouyou vaguely remembered a day a year ago where Yuu had fought with one of his close friends and had remained silent for most of the day; Kouyou thought it to be those days. Kouyou reached a hand warmly out and cupped it over Yuu’s free one, clutching it within his hold, trying to coax Yuu into oblivion. Yuu didn’t return his touch, but he didn’t reject it either, and that relieved Kouyou enough for now.  
  
“I wanted to hear your voice during lunch,” Kouyou continued regrettably. “But it’s okay, now, since I finally see you again, after the long day at work. I was really worried over you, Yuu. Don’t worry me like these too often, okay? I don’t like this feeling.”  
  
Yuu still wasn’t speaking. Kouyou continued narrating about his day all the way home, and it was only after they reached home that Yuu finally reacted to him, finally responded to him. Kouyou had been leaning in to embrace Yuu when Yuu violently slapped Kouyou’s arms away, Yuu’s defiant eyes gazing up to Kouyou’s, and in that moment in time Kouyou had been too angered to think straight.  
  
“What is wrong with you, Yuu?!” He had gripped tightly against Yuu’s wrists, and he didn’t listen even as Yuu cried out and attempted pulling away from him. Suddenly tears were streaking down noiselessly Yuu’s face, and Kouyou didn’t even know why. “Yuu, I get that something bad happened at school, but you _don’t_ treat me like this, okay? I’ve had enough of your childishness.”  
  
“Who’s being childish, now?!” Yuu finally spoke to him, screaming at him as he tried to claw his way away from Kouyou’s grip. Kouyou only grabbed him and threw him against the couch in the living room, forcing Yuu to finally talk to him.  
  
“You’re upset, and you don’t want to talk to me. Why?!” Kouyou was offended, mad, and delirious over the manner Yuu was treating him. Yuu had been nothing but in love, fawning over Kouyou every chance he got all his life, too happy to please Kouyou and agree to his everything, and now… Yuu was going _against_ him. It was a foreign feeling, a feeling Kouyou was stranger to, and it ached, it pained him physically to see Yuu resisting him. Yuu always listened to him, always smiled to him, always giggled, kissed, laughed… Why was Yuu opposing him now? Did Yuu not love him anymore?  
  
“I hate you!” Yuu’s words shattered his thoughts like ice. Kouyou had never felt more helpless in his life, and the pain that was seeping into his heart was slowly killing him.  
  
“You hate me?” Kouyou repeated, as if in disbelief, but Yuu’s hateful look and gritted teeth confirmed his words.  
  
“ _Yes_.”  
  
“After all I’ve done for you? _You_ hate me?!” Kouyou was getting angry, his rage masking his hurt and confusion, and it didn’t help any bit in his case, frightening Yuu even more in his agitated state. “What _right_ do you have to say you hate me, Yuu? What the fuck is going on with you?”  
  
“Does it make you feel good, fucking your younger brother?!” Yuu screamed once more, and it was only then did Kouyou realize the situation.  
  
Yuu had found out.  
  
“It must feel good, _huh_? Lying to me about how kissing… how _sex_ works. That that’s what brothers are supposed to do, ha… _right_. Fucking me and making me subservient to every of your touches. Treating me like I’m some slut!” Yuu’s voice rose by the decibel, and it scared Kouyou, startled him to see Yuu in this state. “Did you think I was never going to find out, _onii-san_? Or should I say, _Kouyou_? Am I just a toy for you? When you put your cock inside of me, do you ever think about what our parents would think if they saw us like _this_? Their brave, studious older son, fucking their precious younger son without thought? I’m sure it’s a sight to see, _huh_? It’s a sight to see me squirming, like a girl, underneath you – ”  
  
“It doesn’t matter!” Kouyou shouted, and that shut Yuu up instantly. “It doesn’t matter, Yuu, because I love you, and you love me, too. It doesn’t matter that we’re brothers. We were meant to be together. It _doesn’t_ matter, Yuu, and I want so much for you to see that, I want you to see that love has no boundaries, that we can love each other like this.” He was gazing pleadingly into Yuu’s eyes. “It doesn’t matter, when we have each other like this.”  
  
“We’re _brothers_!”  
  
“I don’t fucking care!” Kouyou yelled back, and for the first time in his life, Yuu felt like his older brother in front of him had lost control. Kouyou always seemed like he knew what he was doing; he always had everything under control, he always made sure everything would go right, would go his way. Kouyou always was the adult, the more knowledgeable one, Yuu’s very own savior. The only person Yuu ever looked up to, the only person Yuu ever wrote about in essays when teachers wanted them to write about the person they’d always admired. Kouyou had been such a person – Kouyou had always known what he wanted to do, what he had to do, and what he _couldn’t_ do. And here Kouyou was, breaking all the rules, on the verge of tears, looking like he was begging Yuu not to go against him and leave him of his own accord.  
  
Yuu wasn’t sure when his brother had changed, and if Yuu was in love with this side of his brother, the one that gave in to temptations and love and lust and had taken Yuu so easily under the guise of brotherly love. Yuu wasn’t sure if this was the right kind of love, or if this was the wrong kind of love, or if it _even_ meant to exist. Yuu wasn’t sure if it was something his brother had conjured up between the both of them, and he wasn’t sure if this was real or fake, or if this was right or wrong.  
  
But suddenly, looking into his eyes like this, Yuu felt like he believed Kouyou sincerely loved him. Truly, madly, deeply, loved him. And it threatened to break Yuu’s very self. For Kouyou always had his own morals, and standards, and he had broken every one of them to gain Yuu in his possession. And now… What had Kouyou turned into?  
  
“I’m like this because of you, Yuu,” Kouyou’s voice is now a mere whisper, and Yuu’s afraid he will cry, because his older brother was always too strong for that, always too strong to falter and lose himself and _cry_. But Kouyou’s shaking, and he’s reaching out for Yuu, and that _one_ part of Yuu allows himself to be taken into Kouyou’s arms and have his hair be played with and kissed gently at the tip of his head. Because some things never change, and Yuu doesn’t want to lose him. Not because of this.  
  
“The plan was to marry you,” Kouyou’s voice was coming out in hysterics. Yuu shut his eyes and felt his heart soften; he had been through so many things with Kouyou, been through so many intimate moments and kisses and lovemaking and yet none of that could compare to _now_ , where Kouyou’s grief was raw and _real_ and heartfelt and tired. Yuu felt like all the grief Kouyou had pent up all these years, right from the moment of their parents’ death, was unleashing out now, and it hurt him. Hurt Yuu. Hurt him to see Kouyou so weak like this, when he had been strong all these time. “I was going to marry you, when you were older and you understood better and you could come to accept my love for you. It’d be a difficult task, of course, I would have to change one of our names and – ” Kouyou staggered his breath. “But I wanted to start a family with you. I’d never choose anyone else. I’m so sorry for lying to you, Yuu. But I couldn’t- you were growing up, and someone else could have taken you. I couldn’t take that chance. I couldn’t let you go.”  
  
“You want to marry me?” Yuu hadn’t realized he was still crying until he spoke, and his voice came out cracked and shocked. “How were you going to break it to me?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Kouyou confessed, and Yuu could hear from his voice that he really, really, _didn’t_ know. But he wanted to, so bad. Kouyou wanted him. “I don’t know, Yuu, I really don’t know. I was hoping… I was hoping your love for me would eventually override any qualms you would have over this, but…”  
  
“You’re my brother, Kouyou,” Yuu choked out, and Kouyou let out a following sob.  
  
“I know, I know, I’m so sorry, Yuu, I’m so sorry I betrayed your trust in me, I’m so sorry I made you do all the things you didn’t know you shouldn’t be doing. I’m so sorry I led you on, I’m so sorry I did it all for my selfish gains. I’m so sorry.”  
  
“You weren’t using me?” Yuu asked, quietly, and Kouyou immediately rebuked that assumption.  
  
“I love you, and I… I lied to you. I lied to you so you would come to love me in the way I did for you, too. And maybe right now all you feel for me is nothing but hatred, but…” Kouyou’s hands are trembling, around Yuu, and as he drew his head back to stare into Yuu’s eyes, all Yuu saw was a pair of broken orbs, begging for Yuu to stay. “But you’re all I have, to keep me going on. I don’t care about my education, Yuu, I don’t care about my life at all. I want to give you the perfect life, and I don’t mind doing anything to give that to you. You don’t know how happy it makes me, to see you caring about me, asking me if I want to go back to studying and whatnot- but to me, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter when I already have a stable job and I can provide and I can give you what you want. All I ask is…” Kouyou fluttered his eyes shut, inhaling. “All I ask is you to love me back. I’ll treat you right, I promise. I just need you to understand, that this love is real, and it’s right, even if it’s so wrong, in all the ways possible. This love is true, and it’s authentic, and it can’t be more painful from all the years I’ve held it inside of me. This love is for you, and I want you to see and understand it in the way I do, Yuu. It's all I have to keep me going on.”  
  
Yuu burst into tears at his confession. “I’m all you have?”  
  
“I can’t go a day without you,” Kouyou murmured, strangled, his features strained, and Yuu drew him into an embrace, trying to soothe his older brother down. “Please don’t leave me, Yuu. Not now. Not when we’ve come so far.”  
  
“You’re all I have, too.” Yuu clawed at his back, burying his head into his shoulder. “You’re all I have, onii-san, and that’s why I got so upset when I found out you lied to me, I didn’t think… I didn’t think the person I’ve admired for so long could ever misuse my trust for him like this.”  
  
“It’s because I had to,” Kouyou said sadly, and Yuu could still feel the way Kouyou’s fingers tensed around Yuu’s back, as if afraid if he pulled away now, Yuu would go. “Yuu, I know… I know you can’t accept this now, and it might take a long time for you to come to terms with it, but I just want you to remember how you felt for me just yesterday. You loved me, right? You love me. And that’s all that matters.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yes,” Kouyou answered, as convincingly as he could, and he hoped it would work, it would calm Yuu down from the shock and lessen the hate Yuu was coming to harbor for him. “That’s all that matters. To me. And to you too, if you… if you want.”  
  
Yuu’s eyes blinked away tears as he gazed back up to Kouyou’s eyes.  
  
“No more lies?”  
  
“Never,” Kouyou promised, and Yuu felt warmth taking over his heart.  
  
“You’ll marry me,” Yuu said, as a statement, as if trying to reaffirm it, and Kouyou found himself smiling amidst his tears.  
  
“If you’ll be my bride,” Kouyou whispered, and the kiss that Yuu gave to him as he lifted his head up told him the very answer that Kouyou wanted to hear, for a very, very long time.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer that I don't condone incest IRL - but forbidden love (in fiction) appeals to me.


End file.
